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Relationships / Sex

Don’t Judge a Girl by Her Number

Don’t Judge a Girl by Her Number

Every sexually active person in America has been asked their number.

Not their contact information, but the number of sexual partners they’ve had. The question may come from a friend, lover, casual hookup, or a medical professional; but the question always comes. (Even if you don’t with every partner.) A lot of people feel the need to fib about this number; making it more or less depending on who they’re talking to and the situation.

In the Sex Positive Lifestyle it’s common for people to not have an exact count when asked their number. Many people that have been asked, say they focus on each experience instead of the notches on the bed post. It’s not unusual for those that are sexually aware and open to have numbers in triple digits. Here, there is no judgment. As long as people are safe and consenting they should have fun and enjoy all that the human body can experience.

There are those however on the far opposite end of the spectrum. I’ve been active in the Lifestyle for 6+ years and have been to more parties and weekends away then I can count. However, when asked my number I tell people to guess or flirt around the question. For some reason, I’ve always been hesitant to tell anyone my number.

Last month I just hit 10.

Yes, that’s right, this unicorn just now in her early thirties, got to DOUBLE digits.

I’ve recently come to realize that the number of sexual partners I’ve had doesn’t make me more or less sexually aware than others in the Lifestyle. How many people you’ve had sex with isn’t as important as if the sex was safe and consenting. Being sexually aware isn’t defined by the number of people you’ve had sex with; it’s personal and can only be defined by you.

 

Published by Pearl Derriere for B. Nightingale.

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Oh Hello! I have been active in the sex and body positive movement for 10 years. I'm known in Colorado as a burlesque dancer and a sex positive party producer. I have a history in theater, dance, and throwing bitching parties.

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