Most people just want to know if they fall on the sexually “normal” spectrum, typically to justify what’s going through their mind when they are fantasizing. The truth is, there is no normal when it comes to sex; the only constants are diversity and variation, because we are all different in our sexual desires! As long as there’s mutual consent and satisfaction with your partner, it really doesn’t matter what you chalk up to normal.
So, what’s the difference between a fantasy and a fetish? A fantasy is something you spend a good amount thinking about while having sex or masturbating. Some of these fantasies are high up on your sexual bucket list and some you’d prefer never to see the light of day. A fetish, however, is something that HAS to be present for you to achieve arousal and orgasm. So while you might fantasize about a threesome, you don’t need two other women in the bed with you (though it could be a good time every once in awhile.) But if you have a fetish for tattoos, better make sure your partner is inked or you’re going to have some trouble staying sexually focused.
With that important distinction all cleared up, here are some of the most common fetishes:
1. Foot Fetish
If the smell of raw feet does nothing but makes you want to take a cold shower, you’re probably not going to fall into the foot fetish camp. Every detail about the foot can get this particular person going. The majority of foot fetishists are men and they often like to smell, lick or taste feet and require some interaction with any part of your foot to experience orgasm and overall sexual satisfaction.
Voyeurism is a fetish that revolves around getting turned on by looking at people having sex or staring at naked bodies, wherever they can find them. A lot of people have this fetish for observation; they might just be unaware of it. But since 30% of all data transferred on the Internet last year was porn, it’s safe to say the voyeurism is actually at an all time high.
This fetish describes those who experience immense sexual pleasure when their partner wears latex, rubber, vinyl or other shiny and tight materials. Rubberists, as these fetishists have also been called, experience the presence of such slinky materials as a type of bondage. For others, simply the smell or feel of latex is enough to get them revved up.
4. Domination And Submission
Dominance and submission are part of the acronym, BDSM, which has become part of the common vernacular, thanks to the recent explosion of 50 Shades of Grey. It stands for bondage, domination and submission, sadism and masochism but it’s really an umbrella term for couples who engage in any kind of dominant submissive power play during sex. For this to be considered a fetish rather than just a part of a healthy sex life, one or more of the participants must require this type of play in order to feel sexually stimulated.
5. Body Piercing
This is a quite popular fetish and incorporates everything from pierced belly buttons to eyebrows, penises and nipples. People who have piercings are often drawn towards other people who have pierced themselves just as provocatively. Just the look of another person with piercings might be enough to turn them on, but it can also be the feeling of the cold metallic object rubbing against their body that spikes their adrenaline like nothing else.
6. Breasts And Behinds
Who doesn’t love a great behind or some amazing breasts? But does that make you a fetishist? Let’s find out. Evolutionarily speaking, men are wired to focus on these areas as a sign of fertility. In the bedroom, you’ll know which one you’re into if you find yourself constantly wanting to flip her around to doggy style or you’d rather watch her bounce around on top to get a nice view of her breasts during cowgirl. While any man can appreciate these lovely assets, men with these specific fetishes may find it difficult to reach climax without plump breasts or a firm behind in direct view.
Hair is another surprisingly popular fetish. Whether it’s tied in ponytails, braids or pigtails, on a blonde, brunette or redheaded woman, every guy has his own specific preference. Bottom line: the innate sensuality of hair does it for guys on many levels. This fetish could also be more focused on specific styles. When hair is styled in a ponytail, it can easily resemble a whip or provide you with something to pull while you’re in the heat of the moment. Hair is also synonymous with youth, so a woman with pigtails can fulfill a fetish for younger women. And hey, as long as she’s not actually a schoolgirl, there’s nothing wrong giving her a hair tug when she’s late for class.
8. Cross Dressing
This one is more common than you’d imagine and involves the fetishist needing to either wear clothes from the opposite sex or be sexually intimate with someone who is. This fetish is common among both straight and gay men. For many guys, knowing they’re wearing even just an item of clothing that is forbidden to them and could be caught doing so, can spike the arousal factor.
9. Water, Thunder And Lightning
Water is popular fetish with both men and women. Just the sound of running water is all the magic they need to get going. A shower, a faucet or even rain storms all work to fulfill this fetish. Some women might even find themselves getting turned on by the sound of thunder and lightening. Those random acts of gigantic flashes of light in the sky can be enough trigger their desire for sex.
There exists a subculture of people that call themselves “furries.” These people get together a few times a year to dress up in furry animal costumes as a form of expression, whether sexual or otherwise. These aren’t always your average woodland creatures, either! If you visited a furry convention, you might also see a life-sized kitty with long, bejeweled eyelashes or a pastel bunny rabbit with sumptuous breasts. If this sounds a little out there, you can do what many others have done and search “furry porn” on the Internet to get a better idea of what I’m talking about. It is important to note that not all members of the furry lifestyles participate in a sexual way, much like with the world of cosplay. But of course, there are some who do have a full on furry fetish and prefer furry sex (which does not always involve actual intercourse) to everyday lovemaking.
No matter what you or your partner is into sexually, keep in mind that there is something out there for everybody. It’s important to stay open-minded and never be afraid to try something new. You never know, you might find that feet, pigtails or women’s panties could take your sexual experience to the next level, and there’s nothing wrong with that!